I traveled to the future yesterday. I know, you probably don’t believe me, you probably think I’m crazy, but it’s true. I really did travel to the future. And I really did discover something crazy. I discovered that I will win a million dollars, buy a house, donate some money to charity, give the house to mum and dad, buy a drone, crash the drone, be sad, buy an even better drone, be happy, realise I only have a thousand dollars left, be sad, buy a pie, eat the pie, buy Gatorade, drink Gatorade, look on the back of the bottle and see the code for an online competition, enter in the online competition, win, get a million dollars and start the cycle all over again. So, what lies ahead of me is good luck. 🍀
We were climbing to the top of Mount Everest, the tallest mountain in the world, we saw something really weird. It was footprints, on the ground, but not normal footprints… huge ones! We couldn’t believe it! We took as many photos as we could. When we got back we’d be on the news! We didn’t even worry about finishing our adventure. We were too excited. We rushed down the mountain. Unfortunately, we had climbed quite a bit, so it was a long way back. Suddenly we heard growling behind us. We spun around, seeing the Yeti, the very thing that had made the footprints. With one quick swipe, it killed us, taking the photos with it, never to be seen again.
I am in my lounge room watching TV and eating a bowl of ice-cream. I’m watching this crappy show because there’s nothing else on. It’s about a kid who was watching TV and then the lights when out and he heard growling and then a monster ate him. It sucks. I have to admit, though, I did get a little bit scared when he heard growling. But only a little bit scared. Finally it finished and I turned over the channel, but then suddenly it went dark. I looked around, slightly scared. It must be the power lines, I thought. But then I stopped. Oh no. I had just heard growling.
I like ice-cream. It’s delicious. Mouth-wateringly delicious. So delicious that even my dog who doesn’t even like dog food likes it. But I hate when it gets dropped in dog poo. I really really really hate when it gets dropped in dog poo. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hate when it gets dropped in dog poo. I don’t mind when it happens to other people. I actually like when it happens to other people because it’s funny. But I hate when it happens to me. And that’s what happened just then. I looked up sadly and saw… A SEAL LAUGHING AT ME!!!!
I hate school photo day. It sucks. Everything always has to go wrong. Last year I blinked when the school picture guy took the photo and the year before that I fell off the seat. It’s like I’m cursed. Anyway, it just so happens that today is school picture day. I hate that. I really hate that. I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate that. EVERY SINGLE TIME something goes wrong. But I’m not going to let anything happen this time. I am going to completely focus on it. So when the guy told me to sit on the seat, I did it as carefully as I could. The man said “Say cheese!” and took the photo. But then the flash made me sneeze! NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Another school photo ruined! NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
A frightful thing has just happened at the Gillion Fair, which resulted in the death of two young girls. At the time of the incident, the famous Gillion Merry-go-round was working just fine. Unfortunately, the person who ran it forgot to tighten the screws today, making the horses snap off their ropes, taking the lives of two small children with them. Luckily, only 2/7 of the kids riding it died, though it is still very sad.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, SEE THE INCIDENT, PAGE 5.
Here is a picture of the incident:
This is famous reporter, Hamish Talko, signing off.
I was at the zoo eating an orange-flavoured lolly when the tragedy happened. That poor, poor crocodile. It just collapsed! Oh? What’s that? OK, I’ll tell you how this happened. As I said before, I was at the zoo eating an orange-flavoured lolly and looking at the crocodile enclosure. There was an old crocodile who looked about 90. Suddenly he collapsed within his exhibit! It was so sad. I asked the zookeeper if he was going to live……… but he said no. And that brings me to here, crying alone in my room.
The pile of snails sat in front me. How could anyone expect me to eat that!? I just couldn’t eat something so disgusting! With their crunchy shells and slimy inside… I couldn’t even look at them. Me and my mum were visiting France, and in case you didn’t know, FRENCH PEOPLE EAT SNAILS! I mean, what the hell? Anyway, I knew I had to eat them or I wouldn’t get desert. And we were having custard and chocolate pudding for desert; my FAVOURITE. Well, if I don’t eat them then I won’t get any desert, so I decided to give it a try. I opened my mouth and lowered one in…
Goal: To use words I don’t use often.
I will highlight the words I don’t use often.
In this paragraph I will explain to you about the magic of books. Books are fantastic. They are wondrous things. They bring stories to life! And today I will tell you about one particular book, that literally brings a story to life. This book has magical powers. If the reader opens it and reads the first sentence aloud, it will engulf the reader in a huge storm, then teleport it inside the book. The reader will be teleported to a pirate ship, and be held prisoner forever. The only way to get out of the book is to get the spyglass from the captain. How do I know all this? This stuff once happened to me.
I can’t believe it. I’m actually fighting Medusa. In case you don’t know, Medusa is a lady who has snakes for hair and she turns people to stone if they look into her eyes. She is a Greek myth. Or so I thought. But I guess she can’t be a myth if I’m fighting her right now. Anyway, I’m battling her with my sword when suddenly she grabs hold of me and forces me to look into her eyes. I grab my mirror just as she turns me to stone. We both turn to stone and even to this day now, you can still see us. They built a wall around us though, so you can only see a little bit of us. Anyway, that’s how I turned to stone.