I was on a ladder cleaning the light bulbs when a gust of wind slowly blew into the room. It knocked over a vase, which set off a mouse trap I had put out to fix my mouse problem. The sound of the mouse trap going off frightened my ginger-brown cat, who flew across the room and knocked over my goldfish bowl, which shattered on the floor and left my poor goldfish flopping around. I picked him up and put him in a bowl of water. Geez! All this just because of a gust of wind!
Welcome to the Karate Tree Academy*. Here we will teach fellow trees how to fight against chainsaws, axes and cats that pee on you. The cheap, cheap cost of our amazing program is 15 tree dollars. It is held in Cratel park on Wednesdays and goes for one hour. Lots of professional karate trees have learnt from our academy such as Leaf Van Houton, Tyson Branch and Twig Talko. We accept all types of trees, including oak, birch, spruce and weeping willows. We hope that you will make the right choice and join us.
*Trademarked by Trees, Incorporated.
I was in a car race with my best friend, me in the driver’s seat, him in the passenger seat when a horrible thing happened. We crashed. We were moving very fast and coming first when we saw a flying pig. I repeat, WE SAW A FLYING PIG. I don’t know how or why it was flying, but the second we saw that thing we stopped paying attention to the car and started blinking and rubbing our eyes, not believing what we had just seen. Then we crashed into a pole that was holding up the number of laps and both went to hospital. When we got out of hospital we found out that someone had filmed it, so we put it on YouTube. Now we’re billionaires and living in a life of bliss.
Hello. I am mister blockman. I have a wife and a daughter. We came to earth from outer space but cannot let anyone see us. Anytime someone non-blockman comes past we have to pretend we are statues. Our mission is to observe the non-blockmans; the creatures who call themselves humans. After we have observed them enough we will decide whether or not to take over their planet, depending how good at fighting they are and what weapons they have. We will go back to our planet, planet of the blockpeople, and get reinforcements to then take over the planet ‘earth’.
My sandwich! My beautiful, white, lovely sandwich! It’s gone! I hurried around the schoolyard, asking if anyone had seen my sandwich. I searched far and wide, but no luck. Finally when I was about to give up, I saw the thief running away with my sandwich. I sprinted after him, so energetic it was like i’d been charged up by a battery. I caught up to him and pounced. I grabbed my sandwich, shoved him over and stomped on him for good measure. I finally have my sandwich back! Hooray! I walk back to my lunch box and see a horrible sight. Someone has stolen my chocolate cake!
Exactly one year ago I escaped death. I was wondering down the streets when the grim reaper attacked me. He started smothering me so I couldn’t breath. I fell to the ground, gasping for breath. Then I saw a strange glowing stick. I picked it up and immediately knew what to do. I stood up, pointed the glowing stick at the grim reaper and yelled “Configadazilikarubartimambibusincakino!”. A green streak of light flew out of the end of the stick and froze the grim reaper. Nowadays you can find it at Greenlich National Park, right in the middle.
“Where is it?” I asked. “I don’t know” She said. We were searching for the lost treasure of Miracuden. We were in a cave, where the legend says it’s supposed to be. We’ve been searching for years, but so far we haven’t found it. “Hang on, I’ve found something!” She said. I went over to where she was looking. There was a chest, half sticking out of the hole she’d been digging. We dug it out all the way and looked inside. I couldn’t believe it! It was the lost treasure of Miracuden! This was awesome, but where would we hide it all?
It was my birthday yesterday. We celebrated with lots of cake, balloons and presents. All of my friends came over. The cake was white chocolate flavoured. My favourite! But then it started to get bad. A candle fell into the cake and the cake burst into flame. Then a spark flew onto the curtains and set them alight. We put them out, but the curtains still got wrecked. Mum said she will take us out swimming tomorrow to make up for it, but I still felt sad. I hope next year will turn out better.
“That’s so unfair!” I shouted to my mum. “Why won’t you ever let me get anything I want?” “I told you, that drone is too expensive! We can’t afford it!” Mum says. “Yes we can! It only costs $800!” I say. “We are not getting it!” Says mum. “Arrrgh! You’re the worst mum ever!” I shout. “That’s it! Go to your room!” Mum says. I storm upstairs and wrench the door open. I go in and tug it closed as hard as I can but as the door slammed, I knew that I shouldn’t of done that. Now I would never get that drone.
I hate that person who stole my cake
And that is why I dumped them in the lake.
All day I had worked on my fabulous cake
It took hours and hours and hours to bake.
Then the thief stole my fabulous cake!
I was angry, so I whacked him with a rake.
His neck I was about to break.
But instead I whacked him with a steak
And then I went and dumped him in the lake
I did it for everyone’s sake!
He made a very big mistake.
I bet now his head will ache.