Well, here I am. Billy the dancing gorilla, performing for my first time at the Da Silva circus. Whoo, boy. Here we go. I have to dance across the tight rope, with no harness, no nothing, just a pretty little pink tutu. If a fall, it’s a 100 metre drop onto solid yellow bricks. I would definitely perish. Ok. Let’s do this. I climb up the ladder and start taking deep breaths. Ok. I can do this. No I can’t. Yes I can. No I actually can’t. I climb down the ladder as fast as I can and see two big emu guards coming. Oh crap. This is the time to start running. So I do.